Thursday, September 21, 2006

Amanda's Food Groups

Okay, so I was just thinking about foods that are bad for you, and I have decided to create some new (and pleasing to me) food groups:

1. Fluffy. (think whipped cream, FROSTING, puddings, mousses, etc.)

2. Cold and creamy. (Ice cream. Trust me, in my world, it would have its own group!)

3. Salty and crunchy. (Cheetos come to mind pretty immediately)

4. Doughy. (I suppose pizza crust, doughnuts, soft pretzels, and other various bready items would go here)

5. "Turns the paper clear". Rub it on a piece of paper. Can you now see through the paper? Yes? Okay, it goes in this group. And yes, I did steal that idea from the Simpsons episode where Homer is trying to get super fat so he can go on disability and work from home. He also purchases (and wears) a muumuu in that episode. Muumuu is an awesome word, by the way.

6. Sticks in your teeth. (Butterfinger, Starburst, Toffee, Salt water taffy)

7. Makes people make inappropriate noises. (Godiva chocolate, perhaps?)

What prompted this list? Well, I went shopping for various brownie/ cupcake/ cookie mixes and bought some 'fluffy white frosting'. I decided to give it a taste test. It satisfied both food group #1 and #7, as it was both fluffy and also made me do some sort of Homer-like "ggggaaaagggghhhhhuoooooooooggghhhh" kind of noise. Yeah, it was good.

So, with the full knowledge that large numbers of people are coming over to my home in two days, I continue to avoid cleaning. Actually, I DID just put some DVD's that were lying around into the cabinet. And I put my scented oil burner near the sink- it does appear as though it could use a bath. Yes, I'd say I'm well on my way, wouldn't you? And before you snicker, I am definitely on my way over to the shelves- I am gonna bust out the duster and give them what for! Yeeeearrrrrgh!

Speaking of yeeearrrrrgh, we all missed "talk like a pirate day", which was on September 19th. WHY did nobody remind me??? Arrrrrr. I be disappointed, be I. I would have heartily enjoyed calling ye me maties and possibly swabbing the deck (yes, the poop deck) and even shivering me timbers. I would have called someone a maiden and probably would have referred to a 'bosom' here and there. And, while we're on the subject, can someone remind me what a foc'sle is? I seem to remember that word from my various pirate-y readings... and no, I am not quite sure that is where the apostrophe goes, but it was a good guess.

Well, I shall go drown my piratey sorrows in some rum. I mean, frosting.

1 comment:

Liz said...

Arrrr, thar be a fine list.